• East coasters: I drove through 17 states on the way to work
  • West coasters: I have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. Generations have died. Children have been born. When will I make it to the promised land
  • Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
  • Texans: Are we out of Texas yet it's been 5 months
  • Floridians: Please help me there are so many oranges they are attacki–


(Source: cobwebpumpkinqueen)



sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 



(Source: kyliejennerfashionstyle)



(Source: itcuddles)






theprettyblonde:

Are we going to talk about the episode where the tubby toast machine malfunctions and spews tubby toast everywhere and these fuckers party like look at them your toast machine busted ass and you’re rolling around in smiley bread my entire life



keep-away-reality:

19th of October

keep-away-reality:

19th of October



(Source: hardwelltr)



iTunes - Music - Ashton Azure by Matthew Rapp

go check it out




(Source: lawyerupasshole)



roughrimjob:

*GETS FURIOUSLY JEALOUS OVER LITTLE THINGS THAT DONT MATTER*

(Source: organmeat)



(Source: skinnysticks)



(Source: sofancyugondie)



keep-away-reality:

18th of October

keep-away-reality:

18th of October